In this week of love, its nice to come across a post that reflects on the nature of mindfulness training as it applies to intimate relationships.
Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche in his post first directs us to the concept of desire urging us to look around our lives. Desire is everywhere and not something to attempt to banish from our lives. Rather, Rinpoche suggests meditation on and acknowledging how desire (and passion) has the tendency to run amok…that’s the issue. And the solution is balance. In intimate relationships, this balance is between autonomy and commitment, and personal and shared space. Key however suggest Rinpoche is the ability to have mindfulness around ourselves.
The key to working skillfully with desire and intimate relationships is to develop mindfulness of our emotional patterns — particularly how we handle the many manifestations of our desire. Am I aware of how I react when I’m feeling jealous or neglected, or how predictable am I when disappointed? Do I become angry or clingy or begin to plot emotional revenge? What helps me to be open? What sparks my sense of generosity or forgiveness? If we can’t even see how our emotional habits are manifesting from moment to moment, we don’t have much hope for transforming them or developing a healthy emotional life.
Read more meditation information from Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche in his Huffington Post here.