One the greatest difficulties that any human being has is interacting with another. Defensiveness, compromise, and the like seem to foil most attempts at creating any sense of real connection. The sad truth is that we don’t come into this world this way. Don’t believe me? Take a look at any young child and recognize the glimmer in his or her eyes, the joy contained within a smile and a laugh. So what happens?
Checkout this recent Women’s Radio post from Heather Champion (part II – part I here) on using a chakra meditation to reconnect to that part of oneself well versed in the desire and the freedom to connect. Focusing on strengthening one’s heart while at the same time lowering the walls that one builds around it to “protect” a person, Champion presents an honest appraisal of the unfortunate path most of us take in growing up.
What I needed to do was strengthen my heart, and at the same time lower the walls I had built up around it. I wouldn’t be able to survive just opening up the walls and letting everything wash over me, to strengthen it I had to let a little in at a time. I went over the “must not have” list and identified what was fear and what was compatibility. I rebuilt the list as my “deal-breakers,” these were the things that I would never be able to get over, things like “must want children” and “must like cats” were at the top of my date-ability list. After the list was rewritten I looked at why people disappointed me, I found that my expectations of what I thought people should be doing were incorrect given the actual relationship. At the time I believed the relationship was different than it really was, so I was disappointed in how the other person reacted. Had I been honest about my feelings and saw the relationship as it really was I probably would not have been disappointed. So, I needed to do two things, look at all of my relationships as they truly were, not as I wanted them to be; and be honest with my feelings. Nobody will go out of their way for me if they don’t think I will appreciate their time or effort. Finally, I needed to learn how to ask for help and allow others to help me. Granted, I’d never be the damsel in distress, but I could be a little more gracious when someone held the door for me.
As I began to identify my own roadblocks I started to feel a sense of release, of freedom, of community. I will always be shy and avoid the spotlight, I’m just more comfortable as a supporting character. But as I open myself up I find more and more kindred spirits, and more and more love waiting for me as long as I’m receptive to it. Specifically, the feedback I’ve received on my first to articles has been overwhelming. I was especially struck when I was approached by someone who had lost the link to the article, really wanted to share it with his friends, and wanted to know if I could get him a new one. I was overwhelmed and let out my biggest smile yet. In he words of Sally Field, “You like me, you really like me!”
Read more from Champion on using a chakra meditation to heal from past hurts here.